after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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