Heybabeimwearingurpanties
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
