yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
