haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
