And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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