Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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