Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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