I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize