we have officially lost it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
