that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
