Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
