I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
