its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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