The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
