Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
