You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
