Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
