ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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