he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
