he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
