i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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