You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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