i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
