its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
