I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
