Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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