I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
