In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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