You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
