FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
