he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
