I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
