I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
