he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
