She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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