Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This is my gift to your gina
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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