you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
