There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
