i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
