Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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