Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
