No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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