sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Randomize
