you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
