It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
