I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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