People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
