i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
