Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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