Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
