I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
