Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
