That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
