i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
