You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
