My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize