that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
