Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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