No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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