not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
