Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We have started to decorate penises.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
