is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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