dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
