I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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