HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
