Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
