If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
