yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
