I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize