girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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