first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just had sex bonerless
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
