True but thats because hes a fetus.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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