he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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