It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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