fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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